Saturday, 27 July 2013

LOVE, SEX ,HIV AND LIFE: LEARNING TO LOVE AGAIN


ROBBED OF OUR WOMEN HOOD



Appearing in Portrait Of My Life: Sophie Jayawardene
 


 

There are those UN told stories and questions that other people regard as rude to ask or discuss.

So how was your sex life? Why is that because sex is part of human nature and when I was diagnosed that part of nature was challenged. I went into the deepest end on Sex, Love. HIV, and Life in my book. It is no surprise to me that many women today can not discuss this issues. Discussing these issue to many may cause to be judged,
 
Reality is we all suffer. I salute many women whom I have come to know and discussion around what it was like when they where diagnosed and the impact on their sexuality. Sexuality for us women is more than just sex, it's an identity of womanhood. The stigma attached to this virus is contagious. How this subject on women's health is not raised.
 
As a woman who was brought up in a traditional setting. I got to grew up with a belief that being a woman is attached to our human natural behaviors. In my case culturally I was given an awareness aware of my sexuality as my responsibility where the love to save the opposite sex  and the beginning of woman hood is concerned. By the time I experienced the joyous of loving a man I learnt the reason  girls sexual behavior was part of my puberty education. 
 
As a girl I had to sit cross legged  and properly covered, and my brothers with one leg on top of the other. To cover up my private parts at all times and boys not to see it at any cost. A little harsh but it was something that was being passed on. At the time my breast start showing puberty. Oldest grandmothers looks after girls and the same for the boys oldest granddads. Now I know what this is all about and surely the hormones kicked in to reinforce that.
I had experience loving, being  in a companionship, parenthood all that was imbedded in my sexual being a greater influence from my cultural, spiritual and Christianity up bringing.
 
One day all that became part of my daily analysis. I had no idea what really love was all I was someone without the necessary human parts. Love was now a negotiable giving even that was to be another journey. And no one talks about the impact of our sex life love and life in general, not after death, something I had been aware of due to my new status when I was diagnosed with a virus that closely link to my woman wood. It was the earlier years of the HIV/AIDS virus. A time the darkest and scariest days millions of people lost their live. In all this lives had been changed and a new way of thinking emerged.
 
How was your sex life? Becoming a woman and experience the beauty of loving and sharing your most inner selves and natural joys and beauties that sex brings and yet I had to grieve some of this part..  Somehow what happened there is a lot more stories that are being told. Subject of being robbed of our woman hood. Because we all discover something as a result of this
 
One of my friends said she couldn't bring herself to love anyone or being in the same space. It could have taken a lot to come to terms with that. But she surely had to get something's out of the way, things no one talk about. In another conversation, told as if it was just that easy. "My body shut that part of me, just too much work trying to understand what I was going through and just the waiting. Love was not something you had time for to do valentine's day" she has said. For me that was the most devastating part of all, In all the darkness my body was aware that  something inside me was alive. Something that was part of loving, I had to search for the meaning of love and learn to love again. It is something I learn about love and it's categories.
 
In memory of those who are not with us today, to see the miracle. I acknowledge that miracles do exist defining the odds and Raising awareness
 
What in my next book keep reading





About me this year click here

http://sophiesworldthejourneys.com/

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